Listen, kid. Let me be the one to tell you this – no matter how shitty you think things have gotten, no matter how dark you think it’s been, life can get worse. That’s the harsh reality that you’re likely blocking out. Maybe out of sheer ignorance, maybe out of naivety, maybe because you’ve been trained from trauma to pick up your rose-colored glasses at a time like this. But you know it can get worse. That’s the reason we all rubberneck at the scene of a horrific car accident, that’s why we are glued to tragedy and in love with destruction. We’ll buy tickets to the show, but we want bleacher seats. You know the seats where you can feel the vibrations of the music and you can only see the performers from the TV screens around the arena. You’re there – but not so close that you can see the real emotions on their face, you can’t see the sweat glimmering on their forehead and the raw truth in their eyes.
It’s because none of this life really makes sense to any of us.
The importance of love is something we all know, yet none of us understand. If you asked me to define love right now, I’d be at a loss for words. But, I do know I crave it. I know I don’t want a life where it doesn’t exist. I know I’ve only gotten to where I am because of love – pure, unjudgemental, fierce love.
I can’t articulate what it’s like to feel like a piece of your soul belongs in other people. It’s as if another person is breathing air into your lungs – even if that means they’re left gasping for air. It’s not something that tangible, it’s not something that’s uniform, it’s something woven into the very essence of life itself.
For some reason it’s much easier to see love when the world gets very dark, gleaming amongst the rubble. It’s the foundation that we build our lives on so that no matter how many times we crumble (or implode), we find it once again when it seems like the whole world is empty.
Sometimes life is f*cked. We lose people who we desperately need, innocent people suffer, tragedy strikes for no good reason at all. Life will do you so dirty, you will be broken, you will feel like peace was created to evade you. But find the love in those times. Find where that glimmer of hope is, find the people who will breathe air into your lungs. It doesn’t make it easier by any means, but it makes it meaningful.
And in my darkest hour, she is standing right in front of me. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Love, Devin Fiona 